Humor

February 14, 2011

Lessons on Valentine's Day

Today I shall chronicle some very special Valentine’s Day memories….

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February 7, 2011

Lessons From The Dance Floor

For the record, the last time I went clubbing was when I lived in New Orleans back in the 1990’s, so you can imagine my surprise when I learned that there is, in fact, a joint less than five miles from my home where I could actually get down and get funky….

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January 12, 2011

So About That Sign

Yesterday at 7 am, I posted a blog about a sign in my local grocery store that has been driving me bonkers for years.

By late morning, I received an email from a representative from Consumer Affairs. While the rest of us were chattering about the sign and its grammar, one of my loyal readers — a former Wegmans’ employee –made a call and the sign was promptly removed….

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January 11, 2011

Wegmans' Grammar

This following sign has been up in my local grocery store for years! I don’t think anyone notices it except me, but it drives me bonkers. Given their attention to detail, I can’t believe the sign has lasted this long. I figured, surely, someone would notice it. After all, it’s right next to the water fountain.

For those of you who appreciate solid spelling and grammar, see how many errors you find….

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December 10, 2010

Grammar & Facebook Do Not Mix

While I am definitely a Facebook fan, I do not enjoy what social media (and texting and the media in general) is doing to our language. it is becoming increasingly difficult to find a set of rules upon which we can all agree are necessary to follow. Because, really, that’s all the conventions of writing are….

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October 31, 2010

Ninja Princess Needs Tiara

I recently wrote about my thing about Halloween and slutty Halloween costumes. I wasn’t even going to do anything this year. But it’s 2 PM, and the Annual Neighborhood Halloween Parade starts in a few hours. And I have to be something. And it’s cold out. Really cold. So, thinking practically, I started with my ski mask. Add a pink mask, a tutu from ye olde costume bin, and one of Monkey’s old swords.

Poof.

I’m a Ninja Princess.

All I need is a tiara….

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October 21, 2010

I Hit a Wall

I fell down an entire flight of cement stairs, hit my head really hard, and I think I actually suffered a slight concussion. I’m okay now, but I don’t want to do that again. Picture me in my sassy, short skirt and tall boots with black stockings. I’m looking very professional and confident and competent when, suddenly, I miss a step and I am rolling head over heels down down down about 12 steps where I proceed to slam into the wall (somehow) face-first. Amazingly, I never let go of my rolling bag with my gradebook. I hit my head really hard, and I think I actually suffered a slight concussion. I’m okay now. (What do you mean I am repeating myself?) Plus the plagiarism stuff has left me exhausted. (Did I say that already? I think I might have said that.) …

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October 20, 2010

Sucked Into Slutty Halloween Costumes

For those of you who don’t know me (and for those of you who do, before I am accused of being a total hypocrite), I have to confess, I’m kind of known for displaying my inner slut on Halloween. Hubby and I like to throw costume parties every few years and I have been a naughty teacher (typecast?), a St. Pauli Girl, a French Maid, a slutty pirate girl. Once I wore a really short toga. A. Really. Short. Toga. …

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September 10, 2010

Office Heroine or Immature Coward?

So apparently this girl quit her job with a (flash) bang by emailing these photos to her entire office, about 20 employees. On the one hand, watching the little display feels wonderful. I mean, it’s positively cathartic! Who hasn’t had one of those bosses? The one’s that make us wish that we could do something like this? I can imagine the air being sucked out of the room as Spencer’s entire life is broadcast (and now re-broadcast and re-broadcast). Maybe the girl is an office heroine? Perhaps she opened the way for some constructive conversation about how things are run in this office….

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August 4, 2010

Lessons On 'Tween-Age Swearing

Figuring out the rules about swearing can be really confusing for ‘tweens. Up until about middle school, most parents teach their children not to use “bad words,” or at least try to discourage the use of profanity. But suddenly, around the end of 5th grade, kids start trying out their new understanding of these “naughty” words and begin to throw around a little language designed to shock peers and parents….

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